I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends

I am an introvert. I don't really mind not being around other people and a night on the sofa watching Netflix is my idea of a good time. When we moved to Lexington 4 years ago, I didn't know a single person here other than my husband. But, this wasn't that new to us since we had already moved to Colorado and North Carolina in the same situation. Before I had my son, I could go weeks without talking to another person other than my husband.

Boy, has that changed since I had my son. I don't know if it is the lack of other conversation all day. Or, the long days and longer nights. Or, that you just need someone to commiserate with you about how tough of a job this is. Or if it is just the crazy hormones. But, parenthood is lonely.

I love being a stay at home mom. I love being able to do fun things with my son all day. I love not missing out on seeing him do new things. I know I am so very lucky to be given the opportunity to be at home with him. I know that is really a privilege, especially these days. But, sometimes I miss being part of the world. I miss being good at my job. I miss meeting new people and talking about important things. I miss getting out and having friends.

But, finding a mom friend is tough. Really, really tough. I am lucky that I met some mom friends through a local kids gym class here that I took my little man to. We all had kids the same age and many of them weren't from Lexington and were first time moms too. I love these women and have loved seeing their kids grow and change. But, with different activities and plans, we don't see each other as much as I would like. Gymnastics, speech therapy, doctor appointments, music class, swimming lessons all happen and you find you haven't actually seen them in months.

I know that I am not the only one feeling this loneliness. It seems I see posts about trying to find some mom friends all the time. Why is it so much easier to find friends when you are younger? Why am I so nervous about putting myself out there now? In reality, I don't care what other people think of me nearly as much as I used to. I have danced and sang in the grocery for my son for goodness sake.

I have gone outside of my comfort zone many times to meet some new people. I have joined some mom groups (see post here). I have talked to other moms that I see at Gymboree or story time at the library many times. Sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn't. And, I have been very lucky to meet some really great moms. We meet up with our kids. We talk and share war stories. We compare notes. And, for a short while, we are our own group. Someone else totally understands being "touched out" at the end of the day. Someone else understands the feeling of carrying your screaming (sometimes hitting) toddler out of a public place while other people are staring at you. Yep, they have been there too. And, you realize that you really are not alone. This thing called parenthood is tough, but it is tough for everyone. And, sometimes you just need to know you are not alone.